English What Now? is an ongoing series based around the humorous, head-scratching, or just plain amusing English found around Thailand observed and written by Teresa Derr.
Teresa Derr, 134 YinD
Being a human is a marvel. Our brains are fantastically wonderfully complex organs, and the diversity and variety that can come out of a single one, let alone billions of them working together is amazing. I don’t even know how many languages we’ve invented, with however many alphabets, and we’re still coming up with them! It’s incredible! Truly, it is no surprise robots just can’t keep up with us. I could barely keep up with some of these!
Can you prove you’re not a robot? Can you retype all of the letters into the box? Or would you also have eyes as big as rOOt when students ask you to tell them what their outfits say? I don’t think these are words from any language (there have been several times when I thought I was being faced with a CAPTCHA test only to realize, no, I was just reading a French word, that’s why it had all those vowels), but I could be wrong. Google had no results for me, but even it doesn’t quite yet have the full scope of human brilliance on it.
I disagree with some of the only understandable English here – the world is not a simple place! And nothing sums up its complexity better than a string of gibberish in front of a grinning cloud. I, too, sometimes feel like the answer to the age-old question “Where is happiness?” is just: “esesndeaovo efgrba!!” Or perhaps it’s “Essendereva Efgabc pxzh.” I’m glad the shirt specifies not to look for it, because I wouldn’t know where to start with this!”
Of course, this article wouldn’t be complete without an example of someone (or some robot) mistyping the letters into the box, giving us this hilariously modified sweatshirt. Unfortunately, a “T” and an “I” next to each other do somewhat look like an “H”! Instead of a genetically modified __?__ from 1951, we have Gene H. Cally, modified. Perhaps into a cyborg, if that’s where the future of robotics takes us.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
If you’re reading this, I hope you’re a real, breathing person who can appreciate the English gibberish and not get stuck in an unanticipated CAPTCHA test. If you are and you’ve seen some fabulously questionable English that makes you doubt if others are, please send them along to be featured in a future article!
Sticky Rice 
Share your thoughts